| The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. |
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| Life in the Slow Lane... |
[Oct. 8th, 2005|08:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
Today I took the long ass sat's. Hopefully I did alright but we'll see. After I came home from TJHS where I was taking the sat's, I sat around for a few hours being extremely bored. In order to escape my boredom, I decided to go to Borders to buy a new book. Borders is fun and all but you can only stay in there for so long without being bored.
But thank god, Patrick Treadwell of all people comes to the rescue. He invited me to come over to Jason Fink's house to chill so I head over there once I had purchased my book. When I got there, Rachel (I don't know her last name), Colin Enos (hottie!), Fink, and Treadwell are hangin watching I, Robot. So I made my way to the living room and I see this adorable little kitten!!! Apparently Fink's skank of a cat had yet another litter and this little fella was sitting on the couch. I immediately took to it. The kitten's butt was right on my leg, so no wonder only a few minutes ago I saw that its poop was on my pants! Hahaha
So anyways, we all just hung out for a little while then the boys wanted to have a little green fun so we migrated to the basement. Fun stuff, but I did not indulge myself too much. Then I went home and continued with the previous sitting and laziness ritual.
So now I am tired from that damned test and would only now be able to see Aaron but I don't have the energy nor will my parents be willing to let me go anywhere. Aaron had a Jehovas Witness football game today (laughing inside) and I was not welcome because I do not share in the Witness beliefs. It bothered me to some degree because I feel like Aaron is ashamed of me or something along those lines but I won't get too worked up about it. I know he cares for me but I wish he loved me like I love him. Oh well, life goes on... Whew! I just got a wiff of weed in my nose! Wow that was random, sorry guys. Heh. Well, I'm tired so I'll end this entry here.
So long, fair well, blah blah blah blah...I don't know the words!!! K, bye. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|04:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | aaron's techno stuff | ] |
Lalala...i'm at Aaron's house right now...Hes in the shower and i'm just on his comp until he gets out. I would be in with him but i don't need a shower and i don't need hanky panky this second. My knees still hurt from doing it on the rocks at the river. lol!!! good times, good times. but yeah, i think i'll have a mint...hmmmmm yummy mint! yeah i'm in a decent mood since i was able to see Aaron today. We haven't been able to hang for a couple days since my mirror got broken off from my stupidity of hitting it on the side of the garage. lol! he really needs to get his damn car fixed but thats in the process. oh, by the way, KATIE IS A HOTTIE!! haha yeah, and i got a text from GOD last night even though i haven't talked to him in a while. I was sleeping and i hear my phone vibrate at 330 this morning. cool, i guess? heh. well anyways, aarons outa the shower and wants me to bandage his finger because he killed it at the glass shop. k! love you all! |
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| LOVE!!! |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|08:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | peaceful | ] |
wow you guys...its been a while. my last entry seems forever long ago. i was a sophomore and now i'm a senior. well tj is no longer a part of my life, thank god. (you all are probably aware of this by now) yes, and now i am with my beloved aaron and from reading the previous journals and rendering past memories, i have realized that i am much happier with aaron than i was with tj. it also appears i am a happier person in general. yep! well school is tomorrow and i need to call my beloved. haha. k toodles |
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| horray!!! |
[May. 8th, 2004|09:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | no music...just my voice!!! hahaha! | ] |
yes!! today is the day of the prom! i am so excited!!! i feel like a princess and i don't even have my dress on yet! hahaha. franklyn and i are going with several other couples in a stretch limo to p f changs which is located by tysons if anyone has ever heard of it, then we are going to the prom at 8. after the prom, which will end around 12, we are going to a post-prom party at one of franklyn's friend's houses. oh!! i can't wait!!! oh ya, hey chantell, guess what happened last night?! the stalker weirdo asked me out last night. lol!!! ya...it was really funny...um, unfortunately i didn't have the guts to say no. heh. well, whatever. hopefully he won't be too far up my ass. oh wait...AHHH THE NICKNAMES!!! i don't want to have a nickname! ahh the horror! i'm sorry but i don't want the nickname squishy! hahaha!! ya, but anyways. i'll just forget him for tonight and go out and have a fun time. love to everyone!! |
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| blah... |
[May. 6th, 2004|08:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | stabbing westward | ] |
if only i could be happy for one fucking week. if only i could go one fucking week without having something getting me down. god, i swear i can't stand tj for another week. i thought things were going good for a little while, but of course it couldn't even last a fucking week, but it almost did. right now i can't even thing about him without feeling like i'm going to puke up all my insides or my throat swelling until i can't breathe anymore. i swear if i don't kill myself first, i'm going to sufficate to death only by thinking about him. thats how bad it is....i've tried to end things but I'M SORRY I LOVE YOU!!!! its not something i can help!!! if you fucking knew what love was you wouldn't be treating me like this!!! god!! i swear sometimes i just want to stab that boy in the eye! sometimes i get so pissed i've actually thought seriously about choking him to death or punching him in the face while riding in the car with him. thats how mad and upset i get with him. i've tried to shift my love life towards other guys but i always get scared away or tj tries to intervene!!! grrrr!!! i know hes like "oohhh you treat me bad too and blah blah blah..." well that doesn't mean i'm not going to feel the way i do! today after i got got out of tj's car when he dropped me off at my house after he said, "you might want to think about taking your meds because i'm not going to want to hang out with you if you're bitchy" or whatever the hell he said, i went into my house crying. the reason he said that is because my meds have run out and my mom needed to refill my med prescriptions so i hadn't had them for a couple of days. because i hadn't had them, my emotions were going mad which i can't really help. thats not just some excuse either. i truely do not want to feel like this. so after i wen't inside, i just went up to my room and listened to stabbing westward because it reminds me of how tj supposedly used to feel about me. Then i read several notes he had written me in 9th grade telling me that we'd be together forever and that he would never stop loving me. Ya, that was before the big breakup before he went for the fat ass juggaho lindsay. ugh...i know i've asked before but if anyone has any advice for me, it will be gladly appreciated. |
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| Haha..talk about bipolar! |
[Apr. 27th, 2004|06:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
ya well, this is the complete opposite feeling than angry or worried. now i'm going to tell everyone about the prom coming up!!!! yay!!!!!! yup, well in a couple weeks i'm going to the stone bridge high school prom with my good friend franklyn aka "the mexican". over the weekend, i went down to virginia and hung out with franklyn, jill, and her date josh. we all went to the mall on saturday to go shopping for a dress for me. but right beforehand, went to see the limo we are taking since we are going with 4 or 5 couples. that thing is huge!!!! that is most definatetly a stretch limo! since franklyn's parents are friends with the owner of the limo company, we got to look at the hummer limo and the excursion limo. my favorite was the excursion because it has a fucking fireplace, dancefloor, and aquarium in that thing!! we are most definately getting that for senior year (since franklyn and josh are juniors and jill and i are sophomores). so then we went to the mall but jill had to leave and i only had the guys to help me pick out a dress. That was fine because guys usually give honest opinions. i tried on about 5 or 6 dresses while the boys took a picture of me in each dress WHEN I WAS COMPLETELY DRESSED!! ya i felt like i had to stress that one. we finally decided with my black and white dress. It is gorgeous!!! i love it! It ended up costing me almost $160. I didn't expect it to be so much but hey its virginia. so ya, now i have my dress, shoes, tiara, earings, and necklace and my neighbor ann to do my hair and makeup since thats what she used to do for a living. i'm soooooo excited!!!! I can't wait until the limo drives us around town where ever we want! weeeeee!! |
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| yes another entry |
[Apr. 27th, 2004|06:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  worried | ] |
this isn't a depressing entry, i just wanted to make different ones for each mood i'm in right now. heh. well, my mom has this huge target looking rash on her leg, a little larger than the size of a softball. So i went to the doctor with her yesterday to see what it was and according to the doctor, it might be lime disease. then she had to have her blood taken which i hate having done to me but i didn't really mind watching the nurse take her blood. But anyways, the doctor gave her antibiotics for lime disease since we won't know if she has it or not for a few days. She has pains in her joints and feels really fatigue all the time. i'm worried about her even though i know lime disease isn't the worst of all diseases. I'm pretty close with my mom so i'm trying to be there for her. people always say i'm so selfish and conceited (especially tj) but i'm not, i swear. I've been thoughtful towards my mom; i've taken the dog out for her, and given her food, and sent time with her. i'm just hoping that everything will be alright. |
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| Gah!!!!! |
[Apr. 27th, 2004|06:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
The entry i tried to make before this was for people to give me advice about shit with tj. ya, i wrote so fucking much and the computer deleted it all. i'll just sum it all up....well tj wanted to date other people and he does but when guys get interested in me he flips and has to get the scoop on everything. hes even having people, including cheri, to be his little "spies". He wants to know everything he can about guys in my life. The thing is this was his idea in the first place because he wanted to date other people. Its like he can do whatever he wants but he can't make the smallest move without having him breath down my back every second. Its really aggrivating me and i need some advice what to do about him. please help by leaving a comment. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 27th, 2004|06:01 pm] |
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I HATE THIS FUCKING THING!!! I WROTE SOOOOO MUCH AND IT FUCKING DELETED IT ALL WHEN I CLICKED ON A FUCKING QUESTION MARK!!!! GRRRRR!!!!! |
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| Survey from Natalie |
[Apr. 19th, 2004|03:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  geeky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | bad touch by the bloodhound gang | ] |
PAST
1.) first grade teacher's name: Mrs. Mullinex
2.) last word you said: i love you.
3.) last song you sang: "Bad Touch" by the bloodhound gang! i love those guys!!!
4.) last thing you laughed at: TJ singing rap.
5.) last time you cried: last thursday
6.) what color socks are you wearing: white
7.) what's under your bed?: my tj box, my guitar, and whatever my dog takes under there.
8.) what time did you wake up today: 6:30
9.) line from the last thing you wrote to someone: XKittieGurl100X: really?! i feel so special! i'm your favorite?!
FUTURE:
1.) what is your career going to be: either a fashion designer or a psycologist of some sort.
2.) where are you going to live: in a really big house in loudoun county, virginia.
3.) how many kids do you want: ONE. ONLY ONE!!
4.) what kind of car will you drive: um...my mom's...
5.)if you could live anywhere in the world, where: France or Hawaii.
CURRENT:
1.) current hair: light brown with highlights.
2.) current clothes: blue tank top and jean capris.
3.) current jewelry: hoop earings
4.) current annoyance: tj's stupid rap...its awful hes listening to nelly. ugh someone please shoot me.
5.) current smell: nothing my nose isn't working..sniff...allergies.
6.) current longing: to graduate from high school and get on to college.
7.) current desktop picture: a picture of the ocean and clouds
8.) current worry: will i ever stop peeling?!
9.) current hate: my stepdad
10.) current favorite article of clothing: my shirt from france. its so pink...and pretty!
11.) do you currently like someone: yes.
FAVORITES:
1.) favorite physical feature on a girl: flat tummy and nice ass.
2.) favorite physical feature on a guy: muscles. oh yes...
3.) one person you wish was here right now: my dad. i miss him
4.) favorite authors: the woman who wrote What Happened To Lani Garver and Neil Emmons for writing Charles Manson's version of his life.
5.) favorite coffee: Iced White Chocolate Mocha with wipped cream...yes, at Starbucks.
6.) favorite smell: tj's room
7.) favorite way to waste time: sleep
8.) favorite season: late spring
9.) favorite color: Hot Pink
10.) favorite time of day: evening
FASHION:
1.) how many coats and jackets do you own: two hoodies and i have no idea how many coats and jackets.
2.) do you wear a watch: i have a cell phone, why the hell would i need a watch!
3.) favorite pants color: white..heh just kidding
4.) most expensive item of clothing: hm..i guess my french shirt. i'm not sure though. it was a lot for a shirt.
5.) most treasured: my french shirt. lol
6.) gold or silver: silver
YOUR FRIENDS
1.) do your friends know you: um...i guess. i don't tell them everything in my life because i have this thing about not trusting people easily.
2.) what do they tend to be like: funny and care-free
3.) can you count on them: no.
4.) can they count on you: no...lol
5.) do you find it hard to trust people: i already stated that
LASTS:
1.) last book you read: a great and terrible beauty.
2.) last movie you watched: timeline
3.) last movie you saw in theaters: ugh...i don't remember.
4.) Last show you watched on tv: i don't watch tv.
5.) last song you heard: bad touch
6.) last thing you had to drink: water
7.) last thing you ate: cookies
8.) last time you showered: yesterday
9.) last time you smiled: I smile all the time.
11.) last person you hugged: TJ
12.) last person you danced with: TJ
13.) last person you talked to online: Colleen
14.) last person you talked to on the phone: my mom
15.) last thing you bought yourself: oh god...whatever the last thing was that i bought on that cruise.
DO YOU?:
1.) smoke: occasionally. not as much as before.
2.) do drugs: i've smoked pot.
3.) drink: well i haven't gotten drunk for a loooonngg time.
4.) sleep with stuffed animals: Oh yes! i sleep with brownie benjamin bearington and blue.
5.) have a dream that keeps coming back: well i keep having dreams about books i've read lately.
6.) play an instrument: i play a little guitar.
7.) believe there is life on other planets: ya sometimes.
8.) read the newspaper: once in a while
9.) have any gay or lesbian friends: yes
10.) believe in miracles: Yes.
11.) consider police a friend or foe: foe!! i hate them!! they like to kick peoples' asses just because they think they have that kind of athourity!
FEELINGS:
1.) do you have any regrets: ya some that will not be named
2.) i am happiest when: i'm in the arms of someone who loves me.
3.) i feel lonely: when i have no one to hang out with.
4.) what makes you mad: people who don't give others a chance and assume they have to be snobby towards them.
THIS OR THAT:
1.) bath or shower: shower/bath haha i like both at the same time!
OTHER STUFF:
1.) what's the craziest thing you have ever done: wow...getting drunk and having a threesome! heh heh...just...kidding.
2.) any bad habits: i have a skin peeling fetish. i know, strange.
3.) any secret crushes: nope
4.) do you think too much: not when i'm about to go to sleep. i'm good at fogetting about things that make me upset and just falling asleep right away.
Thank you Natalie for lending me the quiz! Heh, not that it was any big loss for you. |
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| haha my convo with my buddy franklyn |
[Mar. 30th, 2004|08:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | um...none. all i hear is the tv in my parent's room. | ] |
This is a conversation i had tonight with my friend franklyn from virginia.
Saleen Sportage: so..where were u
Saleen Sportage: this aftrnoon
XKittieGurl100X: i went to panda express and got food
Saleen Sportage: whats that
XKittieGurl100X: then i was reading a book about charles manson
XKittieGurl100X: a chinese restaurant
Saleen Sportage: i c
Saleen Sportage: do they feed u pandas?
XKittieGurl100X: no
XKittieGurl100X: lol!!!
Saleen Sportage: o...why not?!
XKittieGurl100X: i...dunno...
Saleen Sportage: me either
XKittieGurl100X: lol
Saleen Sportage: oogah boogah
XKittieGurl100X: laallaaa
Saleen Sportage: yes i understand
Saleen Sportage: tell me bout ur life
XKittieGurl100X: ?
Saleen Sportage: tell me bout ur life
Saleen Sportage: lol
XKittieGurl100X: well i was born in...maryland
Saleen Sportage: me to!
XKittieGurl100X: lol!
Saleen Sportage: people at my school say i have a marylander's temper
Saleen Sportage: and i say yes
XKittieGurl100X: lol
XKittieGurl100X: whats that supposed to mean?
Saleen Sportage: i dunno
XKittieGurl100X: haha
Saleen Sportage: well im always laid back and happy
XKittieGurl100X: oh
Saleen Sportage: until sumoen fucks with me then im ready to "kill" them
XKittieGurl100X: haha
XKittieGurl100X: i can't see you like that
Saleen Sportage: and they call that part the maryland temper
Saleen Sportage: me either
XKittieGurl100X: oh
Saleen Sportage: but aparently i get agressive
XKittieGurl100X: really?
XKittieGurl100X: no way
Saleen Sportage: mostly against my buds
Saleen Sportage: cause yea i have no problem tacklin a bud of mine when he pisses me off
XKittieGurl100X: oh
XKittieGurl100X: lol
XKittieGurl100X: everyone at my school says i'm a guy with tits
XKittieGurl100X: i'm kinda masculine
Saleen Sportage: wow..i get that a lot to..
Saleen Sportage: lol..j/k
XKittieGurl100X: lol
Saleen Sportage: how are u like a guy
XKittieGurl100X: i like to work out and i get along with the guys cuz i'm a lot like them but i have boobs
XKittieGurl100X: lol
Saleen Sportage: ic ic
Saleen Sportage: i liek to work out when i have sumone to go w/
XKittieGurl100X: lol
Saleen Sportage: but other than that i jst carry a big stick so people think im a lot stronger than i am
XKittieGurl100X: haha
Saleen Sportage: ha u and me together
Saleen Sportage: we could start a mafia
XKittieGurl100X: lets do it!
Saleen Sportage: yes lets do it then we'll start a mafia
XKittieGurl100X: lol
Saleen Sportage: so yea hows maryland
XKittieGurl100X: its all like...maryland..ee
XKittieGurl100X: lol!!!
Saleen Sportage: u kno u wanan b here in my arms
XKittieGurl100X: oh yes
XKittieGurl100X: i feel warm already!
XKittieGurl100X: ooo its hot! like mexico!
XKittieGurl100X: ugh i'm burning!!!
Saleen Sportage: is that bad?
XKittieGurl100X: ahhh! save me!!! i'm gonna die down here with all these mexicans!!!
XKittieGurl100X: lol!
Saleen Sportage: o..damn i c how it is
Saleen Sportage: no one likes mexicans
XKittieGurl100X: lol
XKittieGurl100X: i'm just kidding i love you
Saleen Sportage: yes
Saleen Sportage: i am loved
Saleen Sportage: but im still mexican :-(
Saleen Sportage: curses!
XKittieGurl100X: awww
XKittieGurl100X: lol
XKittieGurl100X: i have so much fun making fun of you
XKittieGurl100X: i'm just kiddng around though
Saleen Sportage: urg!
Saleen Sportage: lol
Saleen Sportage: yea i understand
Saleen Sportage: as long as ur playin
Saleen Sportage: i dotn care
XKittieGurl100X: ok
Saleen Sportage: but ill "kill" u if ur not..or mayb ill jst get mad
XKittieGurl100X: lol
XKittieGurl100X: BIG difference there buddy
SSaleen Sportage: ah..talk to me!
Saleen Sportage: lol.
XKittieGurl100X: lalala
XKittieGurl100X: panda
Saleen Sportage: i wnat to eat panda
XKittieGurl100X: me too
XKittieGurl100X: lets eat panda together!
Saleen Sportage: when were done doin it and starting the mafia we should eat panda
XKittieGurl100X: ya
XKittieGurl100X: lol
Saleen Sportage: s0 hows the ant farm
XKittieGurl100X: huh?
Saleen Sportage: nvm
wow...well there are some funny parts in there and a whole lot of shit others wouldn't understand but ya. I enjoyed that conversation. |
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| grrrrrr!!!! |
[Mar. 25th, 2004|02:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing | ] |
i swear i cannot take TJ's shit one more day!! i'm going to just pop! i wish he would just make up his mind about whatever it is he wants to do. he wants us to see other people but he wants me to still be there and be his "friend". well that didn't work last time and its not working out this time so i don't know how the hell he thinks its going to work now. i can't stand him in general anymore. sometimes i wish i never moved to maryland in the first place. all of my friends in virginia still love me and wish i was still there. i get along with all of them sooo much better. grrrr...i don't know what to do anymore. |
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| Yay! |
[Mar. 12th, 2004|09:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | machine head~by bush | ] |
this is my first journal entry. well today was a half day and i was supposed to hang out with tj but he has to make up some excuse. he told me that he needs to sleep (because of course he never sleeps)before he goes to work at 4. i didn't mind that at first but then i realized i'm going to be busy all weekend. so i called back again and he was at oliver's house which is right next door but still. i told him i was going to virginia tomorrow and on sunday i was going to visit my grandparents. he then realizes that he won't be able to see me for quite some time and decides to come over. we watched cold creek manor for an hour before he left to go to work. it was alright but he fell asleep half the time. i just wanted to hug him but tj didn't pay any attention to that. i miss cuddling on the couch with him for hours like over the summer but things aren't the same.
oh well, life will go on. tomorrow is a new day. i can't wait to go to virginia tomorrow and see my old friends!! i'll get to see franklyn, one of my best friends from out there and my ex boyfriend. tj feels uneasy about that but i don't see why. tj and i aren't going out anymore and franklyn is nothing but a friend to me now. by anyways, i just can't wait.
i need to start working out again so i will be in shape for my cruse....wait...its only in 3 weeks!!! ahhhkkk! i better hurry! |
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amoureux_sacre's journal